The Darkness Inside of Me
by MichaelisIsMyAngel
Summary: Damaged. Disgusting. All I wanted was to keep her alive. I failed. my only choice is to make a contract with a child, for revenge. Her killer WILL die. If this is my only means, and my soul is to be taken I'll accept it with open arms death seems welcoming... WARNING SebastionxOC Demon!Ciel (Rewritten)
1. Chapter 1

**The Darkness Inside of Me**

**A/N: Finally! Chapter one of the newly re-edited 'The Darkness Inside of Me' I'm actually looking forward to hearing what you think of the new version, I planned it out thoroughly this time instead of just winging it like the last version! So please, enjoy and don't hesitate to leave a review!**

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**CHAPTER ONE:**

"And you tell me you'll pay up front? Like you promised?" I whispered softly, fixing the neckline of my dress and taking the gentleman by his hand.

He gave a chuckle, "That really depends love, are you good at what you do?" His hungry eyes raked over my figure and his other hand came and grabbed me around the waist. Knowing my place that it was better not to say a word or there would be no medicine for Charlotte tonight, I just smiled "You'll see"

"Follow me." I led him through into the abandoned motel where everything happened and upstairs to the door my name was engraved on; "Anna Harrison". He smiled at me and pushed me back on to the sheet less bed, laying on top of me and proceeding to kiss my neck, and bite at it. All I had to do was give him a good show, that's all he wanted my last customer of the day and then I could keep a mere amount of my dignity.

I proceeded to kiss him and run my hands over his chest, and ventured further eliciting from him a moan of pleasure. This was so sickening. What had I become? I assisted him in unbuttoning his trousers and he reached up my dress, running his cold hands over my thighs and stomach, it took all of my power not to shudder in disgust. "You know sweet Anna, maybe you are better than you think" He whispered in my ear kissing me on the lips. I squeezed my eyes shut. Then it was over. He smirked as he put back on his clothes and handed me fifty pounds, which I stared at in shock. "Why, thank you sir"

He looked at me with those hungry eyes of his, "I think I'd like to come back tomorrow night" He winked and left as I stared after him, and as the rest of my kind retired home for the night and I was finally alone for a moment I collapsed on the ground in tears. I was damaged. Finally able to compose myself, I made my self look a little more presentable and walked towards our makeshift home, where Lottie would be waiting for me again wondering why I hadn't made it home earlier. She had no idea that her sister and guardian was a prostitute, I had stooped that low just to get her medicine. She assumed I was a cleaner, I had to keep the truth from her, it was the only way.

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Our home was a small abandoned cottage, it was in terrible shape but I couldn't do anything about it, I searched for work, for a place that was safer and cleaner, that wouldn't make Lottie seriously ill every time. Over the last two years, I now at twenty years old, had cared for Lottie through her fevers. If only I could keep her safe. I was the worst kind of guardian. She needed me so much and I couldn't be there. Lottie, or rather Charlotte had always been sickly, ever since birth, all the time she would be favored by my Father and Mother because of her fragile health. However, two years ago, they were killed in a carriage accident that left me as Lottie's only guardian.

Lottie had never been the same since that accident, the days where she was ill she wouldn't even try to fight, she'd given up all hope of ever getting better, each time she elapsed into one of her episodes I would stay and talk her out of it, even if it meant staying up all night to watch over her. Sometimes it worked, other times I'd just hold her to my chest as she sobbed. That's when only one place came to be, I would be paid generously for what I had. And in turn I could give Lottie the care she so desperately wanted and needed, even if that meant losing myself.

As I approached the cottage, rain came down heavily assaulting me as I ran up the cracked cobble stone path. I pushed open the door and rushed into the living room which doubled as Lottie's bedroom. She was asleep coughing as she dreamed. I couldn't get her medicine until tomorrow morning, so until then all I could do was stay by her side and watch over her frail form.

I sighed as I watched her sleep, her auburn hair splayed over the pillow and ran my hand through my limp dark hair and over my face. This had to change, if I just tried harder with my customers, give them whatever they wanted, I could finally earn enough to send Lottie to a hospital where she could get the care and attention I failed to give her. I felt tears build up behind my eyes and began to cry softly. All I could think was 'God, what have we done to deserve this?' Of course there was never an answer.

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The next morning it was still raining, I looked over to my sister and fixed the extra blanket over her shoulders and entered the small hall to change into a presentable dress and my coat before going to the pharmacy for Lottie's medicine. I rubbed my tired eyes and checked once more on Lottie before exciting the door and closing it gently behind me. I hadn't anticipated how cold it was outside, the wind was holing and digging its icy claws through every inch of me, the rain coming down hard to keep it company. I bowed my head, pulled my coat around me and ran towards the market square of London.

Even for such a terrible day, the markets were bustling as usual. Noble men and women and those of lower class, went from stall to stall searching for what they needed. I stepped out into the busy square towards the Pharmacy, hearing the jingle of the bell over the door as I entered. My heart stopped when I saw who was behind the counter. The man I had to entertain last night. He looked up as I entered an ugly smirk on his face. "Oh 'ello sweetheart, day off eh?" I swallowed and nodded and took a deep breath as he came out from behind the counter, walked behind me and locked the door to the shop turning the sign to 'Closed' My heartbeat quickened as he came towards me and sniffed my neck, running his hand over my back and backside. I tried to push him away, "Excuse me, but I really should go-" He grabbed my arm roughly and turned me to face him, pressing me up against the counter, kissing me.

I yelled for him to stop and tried to turn and run where the key was still in the door, but he grabbed my skirts and I heard a loud tear before I was on my back on the floor, his body on top of mine."Don't go yet darling, stay with me a little while longer and I'll give you what you want for free."

My eyes widened at that. Did that mean..."Lottie's medicine?" The bastard nodded, "Of course, be a good little girl and stay still for me. I felt so sick as his hands went under my skirts up to my thighs. "Please-I need to get back to-" He silenced me with a disgusting kiss, his hands ripping the shoulder of my dress, fingers biting into my exposed flesh that would undoubtedly leave bruises.

When he was satisfied he pulled me to my feet and asked me what medicine I needed. Giving him the name of it, true to his word, he handed me the concoction free of charge. "Listen little Lady," He said as I turned to leave, "Come back when it runs out, let me have my way with you and I'll give you what you want every time, Do we have a deal?"

I felt bile rise in my throat, there was no way I could avoid this, this was the only Pharmacy in London, if I didn't do what he asked of me...He voiced my thoughts. "If you don't show up or if you choose to pay without giving me what I want, then you can't come back here. Understand?" His voice was cold and calculating now and I knew I had to do it. "Okay."

"Good" He unlocked the door, turned the sign and I ran as fast as I was able, desperately trying to cover the damage that had been sustained to my dress with my coat, which proved useless. I ran faster, trying to hide my tears with no recollection of where exactly I was going. My senses abruptly came back when I bumped into someone and fell backwards, only to be caught by the said person I'd hit into. The first thing I noticed was his eyes, a dark red, his skin white and his black hair falling into his eyes. "Are you alright Miss?" He asked as he stood me to my feet. I nodded, quickly apologizing and turning to leave, only for the crimson eyed man to grab my arm. "Forgive me for asking Miss, but what happened to your gown?" I glared daggers at him and turned, pulling my arm free from his grasp and running back to our cottage. As I ran, I could feel his eyes, boring into my back.

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**There we go, the first chapter of my re-edited version, please tell me if you like the new direction this is going and leave a review and make my day! Until next time! :D**

**-Sam**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Darkness Inside of Me:**

**Hey guys again :) Rewrite of chapter 2 because it was rubbish and moved far too quickly! So yeah here is the better, PLANNED version :) Please enjoy hopefully it's okay :) Thanks to my six amazing reviewers: WickedLady1898, nevvy, taorisatemytaco, Precious Destiny and Unicorns Are Not So Innocent. And you that have/or alerted/favorite TDIOM, you are what keep me writing. :)**

**WARNING: VIOLENCE**

**Apologies for the late update :)**

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**CHAPTER TWO:**

I got in about twenty minutes later, stripping off my rain-soaked coat, and brushing my hair from my eyes. I sighed, setting Lottie's medicine on the table, my hands resting heavily on the rotted wood. Why had I chosen this path? I knew in my heart and soul that Lottie would have been better off with someone who wasn't me to look out for her and love her. I ran my hand over my face, and glanced towards the living room door where Lottie would be. I was such a failure as her guardian.

I shook my head and sighed, grabbing my house dress, to replace the ruined fabric I now wore. All the while I changed I couldn't get the image of the crimson eyes man out of my head. Once changed, I grabbed the medicine and carried it into the living room. Lottie was tossing and turning in a feverish slumber. I sighed and knelt by her side, running my hand through her hair.

She shuffled in her sleep and smiled up at me, "H-hi Anna" She held out her arms for a hug and I smiled sadly and pulled her to my chest, resting my head on hers, then feeling the heat radiating from her skin, pulled her back and looked at her shivering. "Here, " I said gently, "Let's change you into a clean dry nightgown okay?"

She nodded, "Y-yes please." I nodded and went out into the hall, retrieving a new one from the trunk, bringing it back to her, and leaning her weak form against my knees as I pulled the sweaty garment over her head and quickly replaced it with a clean one so as she would not get worse. Once she was laying down again, I fetched a cold compress and placed it on her forehead. As I rose to leave her be, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back, "Wait-A-nna stay?" I smiled and nodded, "Of course sweetheart" I sat next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Anna?" "Hm?" "Can you read for me?" I nodded "Of course, which story would you like to hear?"

She was thoughtful for a moment, "Um, Little Red Riding Hood?" I laughed softly, "Okay," "Thanks Mom" I started at the words, "H-huh?" Lottie smiled gently "You're just like Mama" I just put it down to the fever talking and began to read from the tattered book on the floor. Some of the pages were ripped or gone completely, but I had grown up with the tale of Little Red Riding Hood that I knew it by heart.

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As we got to the end of the book Lottie started coughing violently against me and immediately I was up on my feet fetching her medicine. She coughed and gasped and I held her up with one arm, while pressing the medicine cup to her lips. I was surprised that it didn't do much to quell her coughs, in fact my heart began thumping rapidly when she seemed to get worse. Had I been cheated? No...that couldn't be...could it?

I looked down at Lottie again and froze at the blood on her lips. NO. I stood quickly, fierce anger in my chest, Anger, then immense fear for the fact that Lottie was coughing blood...

I ran and grabbed some spare blankets from the cupboard and wrapped them around her frame, lifting her into my arms. I would get what I wanted, he had promised me! I was worried about the fact that I would be carrying Lottie out into the harsh winter air, but, maybe if he could see how sick she was, he would realise his error and help her, have some compassion and ask only for money as payment. That was their job wasn't it? I chose to give my coat to Lottie, a mere cold wouldn't bother me.

She looked up at me confused, "W-where are we going?" She wheezed. I looked apologetically down at her, "We need to get the right medicine for you, I think the pharmacy made a mistake." Suddenly out of nowhere Lottie burst into tears, "Lottie?!"

"I-I don't-don't want to-I don't want t-to die Mama!"

That really hurt my heart, I felt as though it was being ripped from my chest. "Y-You won't die Lottie, I'll make sure of it" I choked out. I knew I was lying to myself, delaying the inevitable, I knew she would..I knew it because I saw it, her condition deteriorating each day. I buried my face in her hair. "I'll always protect you Lottie. I promise"

Lottie nodded, and shut her eyes. I held her close to my chest as we exited the house, hoping that my heat would help. I could feel her coughing rattle through her chest in quick bursts. Had I made it worse by bringing her out here? "We'll be there soon okay?" I whispered. She nodded.

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I could see it, at the end of the street, its faded shop front, the yellowed 'Open/Closed' sign, the rusted bell over the door. I approached it, shifting Lottie's weight so I could open the door. I heard the familiar, ring of the bell, and my heart filled with fear at the memory of what went on earlier that day. I had to think of Lottie now, not myself. If I were to save her...

I stepped through and was greeted by that same sadistic smile, when his eyes settled on Lottie he growled and glared at her. "Who is that?"

"Please Sir, this is my sister Lottie-I think you made a mistake when you gave me that medicine." I knew I was being rude, speaking out of turn, but I just wanted Lottie to be okay. He growled at me, "Strong medicine doesn't come cheap darlin'" He took Lottie from me and lay her on a small cot near a widow, pulling the curtains around it. I searched desperately for some way I could get out of this predicament. He was already on me, grabbing my arm and pulling it the wrong way resulting in my yelping and receiving a slap for my efforts. "P-Please" I pleaded pathetically "Just let me pay for it, name your price"

He smirked again and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back on the cold flagstone floor stark naked. I struggled desperately as he began undressing himself, pinning me down that I could barely move, nor manage to speak for the matter, my entire body rigid with fear. He licked his lips and began feeling my breasts, roughly squeezing me and clamping a hand smelling of chemicals over my mouth to prevent me from yelling. He thrust hard and the pain was blinding, I felt physically sick. White was appearing around my vision and no matter what I did I was still trapped.

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"Such a pretty lassie," He whispered, his vile breath on my face. I tried to get him off guard and make my mistake only to be kicked and beaten for trying. "DON'T YOU DARE YOU FILTHY WENCH!" He threw me hard against the wall, resulting in my cracking my head off the wall and felt the warm wetness of blood sliding down my face and on to the floor. I couldn't move, I sat in a pathetic ball, kept as a form of payment. He approached me again and I desperately struggled to find the remains of my clothes and make it to Lottie's side. He wouldn't have it. His lips locked onto mine and he bit my lip roughly, banging my shoulders against the wall as I desperately attempted to pull away. Pain seized every part of my body, I couldn't find a single place that wasn't bruised.

I heard weak shuffling from the cot and gasped seeing Lottie's form come out, her eyes widened at the pathetic state I was in and as this bastard kept beating me, her panic caused harsh coughs to tear through her tiny form, blood falling into her hands and on to the floor. "LOTTIE!" I cried and screamed when I saw her fall onto the stone facedown. I found unknown strength and pushed with all my might, tossing him on the side and running to Lottie. Tears pouring down my eyes as I turned her over, her chest no longer moving. I attempted to help her, but he wasn't finished yet. He grabbed my by my hair and slammed me against the counter top.

"You can't escape doll, you're mine, and that's how it will always be!" He smirked. Everything was going dark. No. No please...let me try and save her please.

I was thrown back roughly when I heard glass smashing and turned in alarm seeing two shadows , one tall and slim, the other small. Two pairs of pink eyes. I was going insane. I felt a material weight rest on my body and I wrapped it around me, crawling towards Lottie, not studying the new arrivals just praying I could save her. I thumped furiously on her chest, ignoring my body's painful protests at the extra pressure I was causing. "NO! NO LOTTIE PLEASE!" I barely glanced as the bastard flew by me and against the wall lifeless, and continued my desperate compressions. "NO! NO PLEASE! PLEASE BABY GIRL YOU'RE ALL I HAVE! PLEASE! PLEASE NO! COME ON! COME ON PLEASE!" It was useless. I was ready to try one more time before a small pair of hands grabbed mine, I only made out dark blue eyes and crimson eyes before my world went black but I smiled. It would mean...I could be with her now...

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**DONE! Like this better I think :) Please review and lemme know what you think! I'll make it my business to update as soon as possible from now on xxx**

**-Sam xx**


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